Ashes Essay

Ashes
Many teenagers find themselves torn between two parents when they get divorced. In Susan Beth Pfeffers short story “Ashes” the main character Ashleigh-or “Ashes” is faced with this complication in her life. Her mother and her father are two completely different people, and on so many levels, which is clearly the main reason for their divorce. Her dad is best described as a "dreamer". Her father is the person who leads Ashes into a moral dilemma, which puts her in a very compromising position, forcing Ashes to question herself and the people around her. “Ashes” shows us it’s important to be aware of the choices that we make in our lives and how the people around us impact them.

Ashes’ father is a man who seems to be kind and hopeful, yet he not nearly as reliable as he needs to be- to be a good father.  He’s the person who can promise her the “stars for a necklace” and give his daughter a special nickname-Ashes- but not the one who can provide money or material things she needs, like her mother can. Her father also tries to emotionally manipulate her to do something she knows deep down is morally wrong, Ashes learns throughout the story. He’ll constantly tell Ashes that she’s one in a million or give her tons compliments said to make her feel special. “You look radiant. You get more and more beautiful.” “You’re the special one. You’re the one-in-a-million girl.” However, she senses that his compliments are not genuine. She says, “I knew I wasn’t a one-in-a-million girl no matter how often Dad told me I was.” What he really wants is for her to feel special so that she’ll be influenced into doing what he’s asked, which is to “borrow” the couple hundred dollars her mom keeps stored at her house. Until now Ashes has been so blinded by an eagerness to for his love and affection, that she seemingly avoided these major flaws in his character. But now, in the midst of this tough decision, she won’t just immediately take his side, as her father’s inconsistency and the ways in which he is manipulating her are slowly becoming clear to her. These are the things that impact her uncertainty about following through. “Dad, I don’t know. That’s a lot of money. What if she finds out?” she says to him when he first asks her.  Another example of Ashes’ uncertainty is shown when she asks, “Why don’t you sell your car?’ ‘If he did that, I’d keep my hands clean, and Mom would never know. You could get the money you need that way,” Ashes says, as they get closer to getting to her mothers house. This quote suggests that Ashes is unsure about, and perhaps stressed out about, submitting to her father’s request. The words “keep my hands clean” lead us to conclude that deep down inside, Ashes doesn’t really want to get involved with her dads plan to get the money from her mom.

Ashes’ mother is more of a constant person, a reliable person, which is what leads to her loyalty to her mom when making final decision. She’s practical. She’s prepared. She’s the one who has a flashlight with extra batteries in a case of blackout, the one who keeps tons tampons and tissues in her bag in case anyone needs one. She’s very pragmatic-it’s her nature to be ready for any situation. Whether or not she gives Ashes dreams or promises, she has never manipulated Ashes or done any harm towards her. “Mom’s all right,” is what she says about her, but I think that through and through, Ashes knows that her mom is the constant in her life and, as she suggests in the beginning of the short story, her father certainly isn’t. “He’s unexpectedly there, like a warm day in January,” is how she describes it. She also mentions how he forgets to pick her up and give her money for a trip. This shows that her father really can’t offer or provide enough for his daughter to be a constant in her life, or even just a decent parent for that matter, like her mother can. So when her father asks her this huge favor, her loyalty to her mom because of all these things seems to be another influence on her decision--possibly holding her back slightly. On the last page, she says, “I stood over the teapot and stared at the money. Mom’s emergency money. Her earthquake money. Her Martian money.”

These lines are meaningful, because they show Ashes’ devotion to her mother, by hinting at the fact that she knows how important the money is to her mother and that she is uncertain about taking it because of this. She loves her mom, whether or not she seems to be as much "fun" as her father acts.

In conclusion, a lot goes into Ashes’ decision about what to do in the end, although we don’t know exactly what that is. Her father’s manipulation of her is the partial reason for any doubt she has about borrowing the money from her mother. Another reason is her loyalty to her mother, who is a reliable and stable person overall. The story makes me think about how in my life and other teenagers my age, it is rare that you can make a decision that is not influenced by the people around us. Yes, some of us are impulsive and do things without thinking, but generally speaking, with the many outside pressures and emotions that other people create for us in our lives, it’s safe to say that they play a major role in decisions we make.